Hello, my name is Basmati Kasaar. I am suffering
from rare and
deadly
diseases, poor scores on final exams, extreme
virginity, fear of being
kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and
guilt for not
forwarding
out 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by
people who actually
believe that if you send them on, then that poor 6
year old girl in
Arkansas
with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise
enough money to
have
it removed before her redneck parents sell her off
to the traveling freak show. Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates
is going to give
you and everyone you send "his" email to $1000? How
stupid are you?
Ooooh, lookyhere! If I scroll down this page and
make a wish, I'll get
laid by every Playboy model in the magazine! What a
bunch of bullshit.
So basically, this message is a big FUCK YOU to all
the people out
there
who have nothing better to do than to send me
stupid chain mail
forwards.
Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come
into my apartment
and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing the
chain which was
started
by Jesus in 5 A.D. and was brought to this country
by midget pilgrims
on the Mayflower and if it makes it to the year
2000, it'll be in the
Guinness Book of World Records for longest
continuous streak of blatant
stupidity.
If you're going to forward something, at least
send me something
mildly
amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 50 of your
closest friends,
and an amazing wretched excuse for a human being
will somehow receive
a nickel from some omniscient being" forwards about
90 times.
Show a little intelligence and think about what
you're actually
contributing
to by sending out forwards. Chances are it's your
own unpopularity.
THE FOUR BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN
LETTERS:
---------------- Chain Letter Type 1:
------------------
(scroll down)
Make a wish!!!
No, really, go on and make one!!!
Oh please, they'll never go out with you!!!
Wish something else!!!
Is your finger getting tired yet?
STOP!!!!
Wasn't that fun? :)
Hope you made a great wish :)
Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll
do. First of all,
if you don't send this to 5096 people in the next 5
seconds, you will
be raped by a mad goat and thrown off a high
building into a pile of
manure.
It's true! Because, THIS letter isn't like all
of those fake ones,
THIS one is TRUE!!
Really!!!
Here's how it goes:
Send this to 1 person: One person will be
pissed off at you for
sending them a stupid chain letter.
Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be
pissed off at you for
sending them a stupid chain letter.
Send this to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be
pissed off at you
for sending them a stupid chain letter, and may
form a plot on your
life.
Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20 people will
be pissed off at you
for sending them a stupid chain letter and will
firebomb your house.
Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!
-----------------Chain Letter Type
2-------------------
Hello, and thank you for reading this letter.
You see, there is
a
starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who
has no arms, no
legs,
no parents, and no goats.
This little boy's life could be saved, because
for every time you
pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the
Little Starving Legless
Armless Goatless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen
Fund. Oh, and
remember,
we have absolutely no way of counting the emails
sent and this is all a
complete load of bullshit. So go on, reach out.
Send this to 5 people
in the next 47 seconds.
Oh, and a reminder - if you accidentally send
this to 4 or people,
you will die instantly. Thanks again!!
-----------------Chain Letter Type
3----------------
Hi there!! This chain letter has been in
existence since 1897. This
is absolutely incredible because there was no email
then and probably
not as many sad pricks with nothing better to do.
So this is how it
works:
Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes
or something
horrible
will happen to you like:
Bizarre Horror Story #1
Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on
Saturday. She had
recently received this letter and ignored it. She
then tripped in a
crack
in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed
down a drainpipe in
a flood of poopie, and went flying out over a
waterfall. Not only did
she smell nasty, she died.
This Could Happen To You!!!
Bizarre Horror Story #2
Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain
letter in his mail and
ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and
so was his
boyfriend
(hey, some people swing that way) They both died
and went to hell and
were cursed to eat adorable kittens every day for
eternity.
This Could Happen To You Too!!!
Remember, you could end up just like Pinsley and
Bip. Just send this
letter to all of your loser friends, and everything
will be okay.
---------------Chain Letter Type
4:--------------
As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote.
Send it to every one
of your friends.
Friends
A friend is someone who is always at your side,
A friend is someone
who likes you even though you stink of shit, and
your breath smells
like
you've been eating cat food, A friend is someone who
likes you even
though
you're as ugly as a hat full of assholes, A friend
is someone who
cleans
up for you after you've soiled yourself, A friend
is someone who stays
with you all night while you cry about your sad,
sad life. A friend
is someone who pretends they like you when they
really think you should
be raped by mad chimpanzees, then thrown to vicious
dogs, A friend is
someone who scrubs your toilet, vacuums and then
gets the check and
leaves
and doesn't speak much English...* no, sorry that's
the cleaning lady,
A friend is not someone who sends you chain letters
because wants his
wish of being rich to come true.
Now pass this on! If you don't, you'll never
have sex ever again.
------------------ The point
being?---------------
If you get some chain letter that's threatening
to leave you
shagless
or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it.
If it's funny, send
it on.
Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty
about a leper in
Botswana with no teeth, who's been tied to a dead
elephant for 27
years,
whose only savior is the 5 cents per letter he'll
receive if you
forward
this mail, otherwise you'll end up like Miranda.
Right? Now forward
this to everyone you know otherwise you'll have to
look at me naked!
